Too Big to Enjoy the Vue!

DUDE... today was a great day for my family. We spent the morning with my Mom car shopping. She loves my cute nerdy Saturn Vue - it has space to lug stuff - it has nice clearance for when the snow falls here - and it's way nicer than her old VW Jetta which has been a bad omen since the day she and my Dad got it 11 years ago! HELL I tell you!

Anyway... my partner Mike rode in the car with my Mom making sure they didn't hear or see anything or feel any sort of things that my sister Mandi and I might have missed if we took the test drive with her! .... (we'd be blinded by the idea that this car is nicer than hers and tell her to just get it!)

When they got back from the test drive my mom mentioned it had the ability in the drivers seat to raise and/or lower!!!! Well, of course I KNEW THAT!!!!! Yes yes I did! And truly.. I DID know that...

What I didn't realize was that over the last 3 years I've had my car, I would sometimes reach down to my left and pull the lever to lean my seat forward or backward... it's a four door so this usually only occurred when someone else drove the vehicle.

Sometimes it seemed broken. It wouldn't work. Well that's because I had been raisin my seat without knowing it and slowly over the years I'd set it to the very highest setting and THIS Explains a lot.

See, I'd been thinking my weight gain from quitting smoking and from over eating and lack of exercise had all of a sudden started to cause me to be too big for my car. It was hard to get in and out of the car... I had to literally bend my head down sideways to be able to see when the traffic lights change.

Thing is... I've always been a big kid. ALWAYS! People thought my mother had a baby who was slightly retarded because when I was 4 months old I wore clothes that were size 18 months! SO I looked like a year and a half old child who should be walking and rambling but since I was only 3 or 4 months old in reality I was a HUGE Lump of chubby baby! I just layed there in her undersuzed motherly arms and I stared at people. I smiled a lot though!

I was so fat as a baby that I never crawled! I had to roll from place to place! HAHA! I couldn't bend my legs to crawl!

I have ALSO been "too fat" to ride rides too at amusement parks! ... well... I should say too large. When they lower the "over the head" safety bar for me on a ride... it doesn't always even touch my belly... it can't be pressed down over my shoulders enough to latch (And lemme say when it is, it hurts!)

But I'll take the pain to avoid the embarrassment of being told to get off the ride because I was too big! I thought this was going to happen in my own car!!! MY OWN CAR!!!!! I'm all of a sudden too large for my vehicle!

I was trying to figure out who would be the "ride operator" for my car!? Like who would walk over to me in the Mall Parking lot one day with a "height measuring stick" in a striped colorful "ride operator uniform" and break the news to me that I was too large to ride in my very own car.

Thankfully it didn't happen! Wahooooooo - So today when I'd said goodbye to my family and we went our separate ways... I pumped down my driver seat and it lowered SO MUCH that I almost feel too low! Like I was "Low Ridin" in my hot new Saturn Vue!

This also means I'm NOT Alice in wonderland who bit off the wrong side of the candy and outgrew my car...

Sometimes Old knowledge helps on new situations! Life is good! ... Relax Sit back and Enjoy the Vue

(Here's Moms New Car, It's Black)

Furry Gay Guys Do Dallas!

I am so excited to say ........ I Got My Script for the Scene we'll be doing in our series of Videos!!!! No Not Porn ...Calm down Mom! Sheesh!

No we're acting out scenes from the show from the 1980's ... Dallas!

Re-enacted by a burly collection of furry gay "bears" from Denver ... can't wait... It's just in pre-production at this time but seeing the script for my first scene where I play PAM - a character normally acted by Victoria Principal... in my GMail inbox makes my "junk" tingle! Can't wait!

FurryGayGuysDoDallas

911 Conversation

Call Taker (Me): "911 what is your emergency?"

Caller (them): "I don't want 911 but my phone is shut off can you pay my phone bill for me?"

Me: I'm sorry this is 911. I can't pay your phone bill you'll have to use a phone that works to contact your phone company.

Caller: I am going to be late to work and I need to let them know can you just call my phone company for me and pay my bill?

Me: Um, no I can't if you'd like I can transfer your call to a work number if you like but otherwise you... (Interrupted)

Caller: (Upset now) NO! I don't need you calling my work for me or trying any fancy footwork! Just PAY MY BILL so my phone works it won't let me do it myself!!"

Me: Sir this is 911 ... your phone bill is NOT an emergency. If there is no other emergency I can send a police officer to your house and he can tell you how to use a land line.

Caller: Screw You!

Me: No thank you sir is there anything else I can help you with tonight that pertains to the proper uses of calling 911?

CLICK::

Sad thing is.. he called back - spoke to 2 other people some multiple times trying to get us to pay his phone bill? Am I jaded? Is this not ridiculous to most people?

Hoodie Whoooooooooooo!

JD Hoodie the traveling Hoodie has finally made it to his next destination! Palm Bay Florida! He's visiting with a cute couple of bears down there... Chaz and Bill and meeting many new friends... having PLENTY To drink to help him relax from such a long commute from Melbourne Australia where he visited Kez the Mutton Chopped Mutant.

Let's see some pictures and enjoy!

this picture is behind the bar "helping out"


Here we have Hoodie getting a bit of excitement revved up with the crowd on the Mic!


um... Pole Dancing which lead to.....


Making New Friends!? Buddy's? Pals? .... having fun.


Laying out in the sun - relaxing off the night before.... Having a drink... that orange thing is a water gun full of suntanning lotion.. that's how we do it here!


now THIS we didn't think about... Hoodie Porn! YIKES! Better give this guy some privacy!

Hoodie Times! More to come in the Adventures of "JD Hoodie the Traveling Hoodie!"

See these pictures & more from: past present & future of JD Hoodie's travels around the globe @
www.facebook.com/JDHoodie

In Honor Of Bacon Everywhere....

I still have yet to try the new Baconnaise... I NEED to try it! Anyone seen any lately they'd like to share?

I've blogged about Baconnaise before and it's a Bacon Flavored Mayo that is less sodium and less fat content than regular Mayonnaise. If you use it on a BLT (Bacon Lettuce and Tomato) Sandwich it'll be less a LOT of things but I've been told (By Oprah and friends) NOT Less on FLAVOR!!!!!!!! YUMMMMMM!

Ok so I have a wallet that looks like it's made with raw strips of Bacon... People KNOW I love the stuff...it keeps me in shape! (Round IS a shape so shut up!)

Anyway... My Boss Jackie was shopping at her local convenience store and saw a bag of these...

She HAD to get them and now I've been munching on them all week! YES Bacon Flavored Sunflower Seeds! Delish! They taste super salty but in a brief comparison their sodium content is somewhat less than that of regular flavored Sunflower seeds! And it's made by the same company who developed Baconnaise and Bacon Salt (Which is a cool little start up company that began out of these guys' garage in Seattle Washington {Info again from my friend Oprah})

I dedicate this Blog to my friend Meghan who along with me has worshipped the likes of Bacon and Bacon products (And Billy Mayes may he R.I.P!)

Bacon Dress Looks (And Smells) Like Bacon

No, Seriously... Make it gay!

So I've mentioned in earlier blogs that my partner Mike and I are in search of a "Gay-related" gift for the little girl who is coming home to our friends (Her new adoptive parents)! Well the date is getting closer and I've had my head FULL of possible ideas.. something as random as getting her dolls from "Rainbow Brite" or "Care Bears" line of toys. I am going to be sewing some clothing items for her too and thought I'd use a rainbow style pattern as well to add some "flare". HAHA

Then I met with the soon-to-be-parents (and friends of ours) the other night and we discussed some books I'd heard about but not read for children about being "different" than the rest. Similar to how smaller kids who may later identify as gay would appear out in the world today. Teaching acceptance and tolerance... teaching care and love for all.

I couldn't find them but Facebook came through - Found the title of a duck involved book thanks in HUGS part to the help of Kez in Australia... (The Mutton Chopped Mutant!) And it's called "The Sissy Duckling" by Harvey Fierstein!!! ... another friend of mine known as D helped, he located a book telling a tale of same sex love between real life Penguins who live at the Central Park Zoo in NYC. The title for this book: "And Tango Makes Three" - looks so good - Well when I am at work I wanted to order these books but don't have access on the computer... so I asked my supervisor to do it for me! HAHAHA! She did! then as a suggestion through Amazon since I ordered BOTH books for the party... it offered yet a THIRD book called "A Different Dragon" I'm so psyched - I had them rush delivered to ensure they're here on time... I may also have to give one to another special little girl who's birthday is coming up. Sharing the big gay wealth in literature!

In addition to these wonderful and glamorous books... (Which I'm being told there are even MORE! See: "The Boy Who Cried FABULOUS!") We thought up some cool ideas and we also decided to get two KEN Dolls from the barbie line of dolls! One in a Tuxedo with Black hair (We wanted to get two in a tux but they only marry off the black haired Kens I guess and didn't want to introduce sibling relationships or anything odd with twins you know!? ) We decided the other doll would be a "Surfer Ken Doll" with blond hair, some shorts, a t shirt and surf board - then we got an outfit as an alternative but it's like a Sweater vest with a red shirt underneath - and some khaki shorts - like he's going to play tennis. So they can mix and match with one another outfits...

Well Here's the kicker... Mike and I went to a store that's KNOWN to be busy and when we do... we usually go all the way behind the store to avoid the front of the store foot and car traffic... (trying to find parking and not hit people is so troublesome some times ya know!? ) and we park on the very back side of the building - it's got like ten parking spots and is used mainly for automotive needs. BUT It has it's own side/back entrance... and it has it's own registers which are seldom used and almost never have a line!!!

BUT picture this.. Jerrod & Mike at the register that is being manned by a checkout guy/mechanic who's covered in auto grease head to toe & he's missing some teeth... in our shopping basket... a bottle of carpet cleaner, 2 ken dolls and one Ken sized change of "gay mens tennis sweater vest outfit" to buy ...

"Who? Us? Gay? NOOOOOO!?!!!!!!!"

Needless to say we kind of hurried on our merry little way after the transaction was done! But we gt the dolls! Wahooooooo! And the books are ordered

What the Deuce?

Denver's channel 2 Has had many changes in the last 20 years or so... used to be Just channel 2... or known as Denver's Channel 2. Nothing fancy... then they became Channel 2 the "WB"!

Well THEN they became the CW... obviously some buying and selling and name changing of sorts took place somewhere....

yeah... get this... they are now.....

THE DEUCE!? and I'm thinking SERIOUSLY? I say that when I want to be crude and let people know I took ... may take or need to drop a Deuce!? Am I the only one?

Their Website even.,.. is http://www.2thedeuce.com/ Help us! Oh and they're still currently the CW network too so "throw that in your drink and stir it!"