Esso Si Que Es? (S O C K S)

You know how when you're dating someone you love all their little ticks and their little "twitches" that make them unique from all the other stupid people in the world!?

For example... you start dating John (which I don't know how you could the way he treated his ex is unbelievable... and that hair of his ew... so gross ... anyway) so you dated John and after a week (I still don't know how you made it that long) you noticed that every time he makes a point that he finds cool and which makes him feel superior in knowledge... he "slurps". Like he does this quick inhale using only the sides of his mouth doing in intake of air making a slight hissing sound. In sync with the slurping hissing noise he makes he also raises his eyebrows and kind of nods his head to show how superior he is.

As your friend I notice it too but since I'm not all head over heels for him I think this move and hiss feature is a defect. So I tell you about it in a nice way and my hopes are that you too will notice it and think in time his "cute"ness will ware thin and then he'll just be STUPID.....

OMG Poor john I'm sorry I shouldn't be so mean... Moving on.

So - My boyfriend has this thing that I only recently have noticed keeps growing... Sounds dirty right? ... It is!

His use for socks!

The first was on one of my visits to his home area of Washington. He took me to a Thai restaurant in Tacoma and before we headed in... he had to blow his nose... so yes... he reached under his seat in the car and looked around but only found a sock - he blew his nose in it. I of course am not good at being coy and thinking "Oh wow maybe that's just a one time thing I won't comment and make him embarrassed." Oh hell no!

I was like "Um that's sick shit! Did you just BLOW YOUR NOSE in that? Is that a SOCK?!"

He said yes and we both laughed at how gross it was.

On the drive out to move Mike from Washington to Colorado one morning our windows were fogging up and he reached into his bag of extras... grabbed a sock and wiped out the inside window of the U-Haul truck! (Different sock or that could have been messy!)

So I thought WOW this guy is amazing - he has socks not only for his feet - but for tissue - for foggy windows. Of course I gave him a hard time and joked about it.

I thought that would be the last of it because of course it's been a few months now since the socks have made their appearance as anything new. UNTIL NOW!

OK so check this out... Mike took my car in to his work on Saturday to change my oil and fix my tires for me which had one huge screw and then a staple of some kind causing two tires to have slow leaks. Little did I know until we had out family Christmas that he also installed a new face off CD stereo that hooks up to my ipod so I can completely control my ipod from my stereo controls without having the buzzing of the FM transmitter that I used to use.

So the face comes off - (Hence the name face-off right? Duh!) but it didn't come with a case... for the face I mean of course... anyway so Mike says... he says.... "And we'll get you a case to hold the face for the stereo but until then you can STICK IT IN A SOCK when you take it off! Then it won't get scratched or damaged."

He's brilliant. I love him! Did I mention he got the stereo as a complete surprise and I didn't know until I unwrapped the box he tricked me into wrapping (to me, from him?) Hmmmm.

SOCK PUPPETS! YAHHHHH!!!!

Bacon!

OK ... so my friend Meghan at work is off (when i say she's off I mean ... if you truly know her... you might look at her with a slight tilt of your head to the laft) - she's a lot like me I think (I hope that's a good thing) but we both see some odd things in similar ways! Sometimes good sometimes bad! She for example was able to share with me the idea of finding a Bacon Tuxedo that is not actually made of bacon but looks like it is - and it seems that the tuxedo actually SMELLS like bacon! I think she found it on http://www.iheartbacon.com/ but I could be wrong!?

Then we discussed today how we like our men with meat on their bones! She said she likes Billy Mays... I wasn't sure who it was by his name... then she explained he's the Oxy Clean Guy! OMG YES THE OXY CLEAN GUY! (I'm yelling here!) I've said for years how I'd love to have sex with the oxy clean guy because he's so loud on TV I could only imagine what he'd yell and the volumes he'd hit when in the throws of passion... plus... cleanup would be a snap! Maybe he'd Yell... "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT... THAT WILL CUM RIGHT OUT OF THAT RUG!!!!!" HOT! lol

It Smells HOT!

I answer the call by saying the usual “911?!” the woman on the other end… not so calm. It’s Christmas morning I picture her frantic getting ready for the holiday guest who’re bound to be arriving in the next five hours or so… and what do her wondering EARS behold… FIRE ALARMS!!!!

Yep I could hear them too! Beeping in the background.

She is panicking and saying it smells hot – Like toward the basement I think! I don’t see smoke and I don’t see flames but something is hot I can feel it.

I have to tone out 3 fire engines and a medic unit and also the battalion chief for this – they all go in route and eventually arrive on scene – advising me of their locations for staging in case the house bursts into flames… moments later though… “Command... this will be ok, the scene is stable, we can cancel all other units responding to this call it is an overheated hair dryer!”

The sentence was spoken calmly and clearly – but you could tell he was trying not to laugh.

See what happens when people try to get the perfect Christmas Hair!? I picture the woman with only ONE hair “wing” while the rest of her hair is damp and hanging soggy against her panic stricken cheek! Flailing her arms in the air as the 3 fire engines and the medic units arrive on her block…. Only to find out her whole family evacuated the house in all different stages of undress, because she overheated the hair dryer trying to get the perfect holiday full-body hair she’d always pictured. Woops!

Merry Christmas!

Holiday Eve!

It's Christmas Eve - my friends are all gathering as I type this out - I'm at work - luckily it's calm in here - I made some new bags out of all sorts of materials for my co workers as holiday gifts. (When I say I made them I mean I made about 15 or so of them and my Mom helped me by making the rest) But I started the project - and tonight I brought them in for the co-workers to use as bags for our headsets and ear pieces and hand held phones and stuff here at work! I put in some coffee mugs and some Holiday lotions and chap sticks and bath washes and stuff so they had little gifts too!

Cool huh! But I wanna be at my friends house! My friend Carl - He's having a small group of friends over and we'll be hanging out when I get done at work!

Tomorrow I'll be working 12 hours all day long. But I wanted to say Happy Holidays to you all! Be safe and enjoy yourselves!

Steve is Hot!

So Did I mention ... I haven't blogged in a while... I guess I have no need to mention. You've not read anything right? Right... SO I had a request to blog something... I did... but one specific request was to make mention of the fact that my friend Steve is hot! HE IS! lol I thought you should all know!

STEVE IS... hot like ....

Or he's ...

like a

and he's definitely hot like these....

Love you "Hot Pants Stevie B!"

You're HOT!

Handy ...

I think I'm pretty lucky. I enjoy planning events but I am not very handy at stuff like putting together new furniture or working on cars construction stuff in general. I tried to put together a simple shelving unit with closing doors and I used a screw that's too long and it went through... of course it's not on the back or the bottom of the unit.. nope it's right on the front. In the middle on the top! Right in the line of sight.

This made a discolored "bump" of wood that I screwed up! Literally. So when the matching stack able drawer set was needing to be put together I kind of hinted to Mike that "we" should put those drawers together while we're relaxing and watching the TV. He said OK I cleared a spot and after he opened the box of parts I asked which tools he'd need. As he gave me the short list I grabbed each tool needed for the job and delivered them to him.

That's as far as I got in helping! I then cleared a spot for the Drawers to go and did some dishes and I checked hours at the barber to see if we had time for a last minute holiday haircut before they closed.

This is him putting it together....

Oh you bet... He's Excited about it! LOL He has like 20 nails and screws in his mouth! LOL HOT!

I think he wanted to hit me with the hammer!? Should I be worried? He also thought to stack the drawers on top of the shelves so you can't see where I "screwed up" so it looks nice! I'm lucky... he's handy! lol