Esso Si Que Es? (S O C K S)

You know how when you're dating someone you love all their little ticks and their little "twitches" that make them unique from all the other stupid people in the world!?

For example... you start dating John (which I don't know how you could the way he treated his ex is unbelievable... and that hair of his ew... so gross ... anyway) so you dated John and after a week (I still don't know how you made it that long) you noticed that every time he makes a point that he finds cool and which makes him feel superior in knowledge... he "slurps". Like he does this quick inhale using only the sides of his mouth doing in intake of air making a slight hissing sound. In sync with the slurping hissing noise he makes he also raises his eyebrows and kind of nods his head to show how superior he is.

As your friend I notice it too but since I'm not all head over heels for him I think this move and hiss feature is a defect. So I tell you about it in a nice way and my hopes are that you too will notice it and think in time his "cute"ness will ware thin and then he'll just be STUPID.....

OMG Poor john I'm sorry I shouldn't be so mean... Moving on.

So - My boyfriend has this thing that I only recently have noticed keeps growing... Sounds dirty right? ... It is!

His use for socks!

The first was on one of my visits to his home area of Washington. He took me to a Thai restaurant in Tacoma and before we headed in... he had to blow his nose... so yes... he reached under his seat in the car and looked around but only found a sock - he blew his nose in it. I of course am not good at being coy and thinking "Oh wow maybe that's just a one time thing I won't comment and make him embarrassed." Oh hell no!

I was like "Um that's sick shit! Did you just BLOW YOUR NOSE in that? Is that a SOCK?!"

He said yes and we both laughed at how gross it was.

On the drive out to move Mike from Washington to Colorado one morning our windows were fogging up and he reached into his bag of extras... grabbed a sock and wiped out the inside window of the U-Haul truck! (Different sock or that could have been messy!)

So I thought WOW this guy is amazing - he has socks not only for his feet - but for tissue - for foggy windows. Of course I gave him a hard time and joked about it.

I thought that would be the last of it because of course it's been a few months now since the socks have made their appearance as anything new. UNTIL NOW!

OK so check this out... Mike took my car in to his work on Saturday to change my oil and fix my tires for me which had one huge screw and then a staple of some kind causing two tires to have slow leaks. Little did I know until we had out family Christmas that he also installed a new face off CD stereo that hooks up to my ipod so I can completely control my ipod from my stereo controls without having the buzzing of the FM transmitter that I used to use.

So the face comes off - (Hence the name face-off right? Duh!) but it didn't come with a case... for the face I mean of course... anyway so Mike says... he says.... "And we'll get you a case to hold the face for the stereo but until then you can STICK IT IN A SOCK when you take it off! Then it won't get scratched or damaged."

He's brilliant. I love him! Did I mention he got the stereo as a complete surprise and I didn't know until I unwrapped the box he tricked me into wrapping (to me, from him?) Hmmmm.

SOCK PUPPETS! YAHHHHH!!!!

Bacon!

OK ... so my friend Meghan at work is off (when i say she's off I mean ... if you truly know her... you might look at her with a slight tilt of your head to the laft) - she's a lot like me I think (I hope that's a good thing) but we both see some odd things in similar ways! Sometimes good sometimes bad! She for example was able to share with me the idea of finding a Bacon Tuxedo that is not actually made of bacon but looks like it is - and it seems that the tuxedo actually SMELLS like bacon! I think she found it on http://www.iheartbacon.com/ but I could be wrong!?

Then we discussed today how we like our men with meat on their bones! She said she likes Billy Mays... I wasn't sure who it was by his name... then she explained he's the Oxy Clean Guy! OMG YES THE OXY CLEAN GUY! (I'm yelling here!) I've said for years how I'd love to have sex with the oxy clean guy because he's so loud on TV I could only imagine what he'd yell and the volumes he'd hit when in the throws of passion... plus... cleanup would be a snap! Maybe he'd Yell... "DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT... THAT WILL CUM RIGHT OUT OF THAT RUG!!!!!" HOT! lol

It Smells HOT!

I answer the call by saying the usual “911?!” the woman on the other end… not so calm. It’s Christmas morning I picture her frantic getting ready for the holiday guest who’re bound to be arriving in the next five hours or so… and what do her wondering EARS behold… FIRE ALARMS!!!!

Yep I could hear them too! Beeping in the background.

She is panicking and saying it smells hot – Like toward the basement I think! I don’t see smoke and I don’t see flames but something is hot I can feel it.

I have to tone out 3 fire engines and a medic unit and also the battalion chief for this – they all go in route and eventually arrive on scene – advising me of their locations for staging in case the house bursts into flames… moments later though… “Command... this will be ok, the scene is stable, we can cancel all other units responding to this call it is an overheated hair dryer!”

The sentence was spoken calmly and clearly – but you could tell he was trying not to laugh.

See what happens when people try to get the perfect Christmas Hair!? I picture the woman with only ONE hair “wing” while the rest of her hair is damp and hanging soggy against her panic stricken cheek! Flailing her arms in the air as the 3 fire engines and the medic units arrive on her block…. Only to find out her whole family evacuated the house in all different stages of undress, because she overheated the hair dryer trying to get the perfect holiday full-body hair she’d always pictured. Woops!

Merry Christmas!

Holiday Eve!

It's Christmas Eve - my friends are all gathering as I type this out - I'm at work - luckily it's calm in here - I made some new bags out of all sorts of materials for my co workers as holiday gifts. (When I say I made them I mean I made about 15 or so of them and my Mom helped me by making the rest) But I started the project - and tonight I brought them in for the co-workers to use as bags for our headsets and ear pieces and hand held phones and stuff here at work! I put in some coffee mugs and some Holiday lotions and chap sticks and bath washes and stuff so they had little gifts too!

Cool huh! But I wanna be at my friends house! My friend Carl - He's having a small group of friends over and we'll be hanging out when I get done at work!

Tomorrow I'll be working 12 hours all day long. But I wanted to say Happy Holidays to you all! Be safe and enjoy yourselves!

Steve is Hot!

So Did I mention ... I haven't blogged in a while... I guess I have no need to mention. You've not read anything right? Right... SO I had a request to blog something... I did... but one specific request was to make mention of the fact that my friend Steve is hot! HE IS! lol I thought you should all know!

STEVE IS... hot like ....

Or he's ...

like a

and he's definitely hot like these....

Love you "Hot Pants Stevie B!"

You're HOT!

Handy ...

I think I'm pretty lucky. I enjoy planning events but I am not very handy at stuff like putting together new furniture or working on cars construction stuff in general. I tried to put together a simple shelving unit with closing doors and I used a screw that's too long and it went through... of course it's not on the back or the bottom of the unit.. nope it's right on the front. In the middle on the top! Right in the line of sight.

This made a discolored "bump" of wood that I screwed up! Literally. So when the matching stack able drawer set was needing to be put together I kind of hinted to Mike that "we" should put those drawers together while we're relaxing and watching the TV. He said OK I cleared a spot and after he opened the box of parts I asked which tools he'd need. As he gave me the short list I grabbed each tool needed for the job and delivered them to him.

That's as far as I got in helping! I then cleared a spot for the Drawers to go and did some dishes and I checked hours at the barber to see if we had time for a last minute holiday haircut before they closed.

This is him putting it together....

Oh you bet... He's Excited about it! LOL He has like 20 nails and screws in his mouth! LOL HOT!

I think he wanted to hit me with the hammer!? Should I be worried? He also thought to stack the drawers on top of the shelves so you can't see where I "screwed up" so it looks nice! I'm lucky... he's handy! lol

heard this from a friend...

this is a blog my friend bill posted at his blog ( This Is My House )


saw this on Gizmodo, there is an iPhone app called Magic Tap, a 99-cent iPhone application, lets you send fake calls to yourself on command, just in case you ever need an excuse to get out of an awkward situation such as a horrible blind date, or to avoid having "that talk" with whoever. To make this application more realistic, it lets you customize the caller's name, number and photo I.D. to anyone you choose. This is to funny

Brothers?

So a friend of mine was in town this last weekend. He's a sweet guy! He's a HUGE Miami dolphins fan... so he had time off and decided to drive overnight and stay for the game here in Denver before returning home to Oklahoma City.

We weren't sure when he'd get to town but he made it in early Sunday morning. Mike and I went to have breakfast with him very early when we woke up. It went well. I think maybe it was kind of odd since the friend is my ex. He and I dated for a short period of time a number of years ago. Since then we've both gotten partners who we love and adore so it's OK but still ... Mike is a trooper for going out and meeting the "ex"!

Conversation flowed and our food and laughter along with it. I was still half asleep though so I was not as chatty as I can be sometimes. Mike and i had plans for the day to meet and be with our friends who live here in town so it worked nicely to meet with him before that all started.

But being as tired as I was... they talked me into this ....

I think we have the same nose!

911 caller

OK being a dispatcher for police and the fire departments and ambulance crews for many cities and agencies I hear do and see many off the wall things. It's ever changing and exciting. Always something new. There have been many different things that are odd or out of the norm on a 911 line.

Today though... i was asked this....
"I need to know what color the urine tests are today please!?"

Uh What the hell are you talking about (Which means I said "Excuse me please?")

"I need to know what color the urine tests are today please?"

I repeated it back as I heard it ... "I'm sorry you need to know what color the URINE tests are?"

She said yes.

I paused and asked if she needed police or an ambulance..... she said she thinks she might have dialed wrong....

I'm thinking the closest thing to dialing 9 - 1 - 1 - on your phone MIGHT be 4 - 1 - 1 - which is information.... do you think THEY know the color of the urine tests today? Hmmm I should call.

Only the Fat Kid....

My back pack is like a purse. I use it for work but mainly it has my monthly scheduler - my pens and coins and pretty much anything I'd need. It gives me a place to keep my work badge - and dental floss.

A few minutes ago my masculine camouflaged man bag with hunter orange trim - was sitting next to me and I needed to find my chap stick. It's in the bottom of my bag. I'm sure of it, but rather than unload the whole thing I began to do the finger sweep blindly rubbing my hand at the bottom of the bag trying to locate by touch the chap stick.

As my fingers came across items I did a mental evaluation of the feel of the item to be able to have a check list of things in the bottom of my bag.

"Coins ..... dental floss..... camera.... that's it there we ... go oh no that's a battery ...... pencil..... heal cream..... band aid ..... dental floss again...... battery ...... chap oh other battery........ oph here we go .... wait? ::::feel ... manipulate in fingers ... feel:::::::: wtf is that? ..... :::grab and slowly remove::::::;

I had a piece of dried up mushroom Pizza from a week in my bag. I couldn't tell why I had it then I thought back and I think I had lunch in the bag last week and maybe the pizza was wrapped in saran plastic wrap and this piece fell out? Only a fat kid could find dried up food full sized in his man purse and not be sure how long it's been in there.

But anyway .... now I'm not worried about what to do for lunch! Thank goodness!

Voter! And the states only non-mail in /early voter!

I went to vote yesterday and I strategically placed my vote time in between the morning rush and the lunch rush! It worked - although the lot of the church I went to was full I found the people inside were mainly volunteers or whatever working the poll place. (that sounds dirty! Working the poll place haha!)

Moving on...

As I entered the rec room for this building following the arrows on the wall to show me the way I saw a table. The table was full of people working on one side and empty of people being helped on the outer ring. I met eyes with an older woman who was placed first at the table. She smiled so I felt obligated to go to her for the first step.

This was a calm looking older white haired little lady seated gently behind her posted spot at the table. Normally ladies of her stature and age shy away from chatting with me and I assume it's my size and sometimes my hair but mostly because I'm pierced and tattooed!? Maybe I'm wrong. This time I was!

As I was handed the small card to fill out I passed over my ID to the woman with a smile trying to put her at ease. No need I found! She started out by showing me where to put my name and address - then she began her life story.

"I have 21 grandchildren and the 19th one is a boy and he plays baseball. He had a game the other day and he and some of the other players showed up to a game with blue hair. The Coach of his team was red with fury over it! But you know what? My daughter sure let him have it! Yes she did! She told him that her son gets straight 'A's and is on the honor roll and shows up to every practice! She then told that coach to keep his head in the game and out of her sons hairstyle. "

I replied how cool I thought that was and I questioningly motioned as to where I should put my signature using the pen she'd handed me.

She went on "Yes honey you sign right there but only because I'm sitting here to witness it. (And without taking a breath) I have to tell you also that all of my grand daughters have tattoos! Well not Amy... or Georgia! They're too young. Oh well and Georgia is technically my great-grand-daughter but she's still a grand child you know!?"

Yes I know! It's still family isn't it!? Well that's cool!

Here is where she noticed I was inching in the direction of the next set of signs with arrows on them to the next check in point. "Oh hey yes dear you go on around to right there (as she pointed) and they'll help you out! Thank you for voting because YOUR vote counts too!"

I thanked her also and went on my way into the next step and then next I voted! (Wahoo I voted!)

When I'd finished casting my vote and I headed to the last table set up to collect the cards we'd used to vote and collect my "I Voted" sticker to show proudly on my shirt.... I was thanks by the person tending to that station and then I headed out. (Mind you this little lady got a bit nervous as I walked up and she couldn't quite get her sentence out but her intentions of gratitude were clear enough!)

As I completed the circle that'd been set up for a smooth voting process I walked down the hall and passed that firs little lady who'd shared her family tree with me and also her open minded thoughts of crazy kids like myself. She shouted out to me! "Thank you for coming in and have a great day!"

I replied yelling back into that room... "You're welcome thank you too for being here and hey... tell those grand kids hello for me!"

"I WILL!" she beamed back!

What I'm wondering is how she'd go about doing that!? Maybe she'd start a phone tree letting them know!

"Hey Georgia is your sister home? ... I had a punky voter who wanted to say hello to you kids....

I love it! Have a great day! HUGS! J

Halloween at Work!

Only two of us decided to wear clothes! I was thinking I'd be the only one brave enough! So I brought my costume for work in a bag.
When I saw my other co worker dressed as a bronco fan (she wore pajamas and a hat with slippers so at least "SOME effort" was put forth. So I put mine on! The hat is huge and kinda heavy though so not sure I'll make it the whole 12 hour day! We'll see! four hours down... 8 to go! Then we're partying tonight! Wahoooooo! What shall I wear to tonights bar party? Hmmmmmmmm.....

Happy Halloween and Lucky Let Go's

Last weekend was a costume party for this years Halloween Gathering. Mike and I decided last minute that we'd go. We weren't sure what to do for costumes.

While I was at work, I had people emailing me ideas of things I could manage in little to no time. I was considering re enacting the costume I'd done when I was 5 years old and dressing as Boy George again! But I didn't have enough odd stuff and I couldn't find leg warmers! So that was a no go.

Mike was at hom eand my sister and mother were there. They pulled out a tub of costumes and halloween stuff and he found an indian costume that ws min eyears ago. It fit him. He decided to go with that. My sister Mandi found a long black wig - She split it down the middle and braided the two ends. She just happened to have leather strings and an extra feather to add to the end of it. He was set!

I had some leather strap up costume boots that matched (left over from a gay cruise costume party a few years back!) They fit too!

Now it's my turn! I decided to go with my version of Green Lantern. I had the t shirt, and also just so happened to have green tights in my size (Also left over from gay cruise party) that I hadn't worn yet.

We'de been thinking this would be my costume but I didn't find a mask in any of rht estores we went to. Just a simple mask would have been fine but we coudln't find one like the super heroe's wear. So Mike came up with the idea of using black face paint. It worked pretty well.

I had green boots from yet another party (thanks Carl) when I was one of many "Hairy God Mothers" my color was GREEN of course at that time too so it worked out for me!

We got all dressed up after I got home from work and headed out to drop off a costume at my friend Liz's house so her man could be a priest and Mike was driving us through the neighborhood and we get pulled over for not ompletely stopping at one of the stop signs.

As the deputy lights' us up we pull over and Mike is kind of freaking out but I'm giggling. Chances are I might know this guy since I dispatch him and even if not... we're in full costume! HAHAHAH!

Mike gets the paperwork out and his ID and stuff as the deputy walks up the the side of the car cautiously! Mie's window is down and we hear "Of all nights to get pulled over eh!?" I think this was more of a generic thing for him to say to hear us talk I guess. Mike says "yeah" back and holds out his info for the oficer.

The guy uses his flashlight to glance in as he stoops down a bit to peer in the car and then he does a double take. He sees our costumes and he starts laughing. HARD! He waves off Mike's hand holding out the paperowk and identification and he says "Oh hell put that shit away!" he keeps laughing and he yells back to us as he's walking back to his car "Watch those stop signs guys it's a $150 fine!" was both kind of "chime" the words THANK YOU in unison!

Mind you we were pretty cautious the rest of the night!

PS - we took this picture just afterward because I calle dmy work to find out who the deputy was - they said he's laughing so hard! then my supervisor asked me "So which one of you is pocahontas!?" Mike was pissed he forgot his war paint so they knew he was a male indian They taped the picture to the deputy's locker at work!

13 TIMES!?!?!

My daughter will kill me if she finds this blog!

She's 13 and in a few weeks will be 14. She's the smartest kiddo I've ever met. She's also someone who still acts her age when you get to know her so it's hard to tell if she's going to handle stuff older than someone her age - or act her age. But like most parenting... it's a guessing game.

No matter HOW she handles things she's the light of my life and I miss her so much!

I say I miss her because she's decided she doesn't want to come home and live with me for a while.

It kills me to think she would be unhappy with me... anyway the reasons are many and diverse - we get along great I think ... but she doesn't agree so that's not fun!


Anyway I'm writing to share that after over a week she's conversing with me on text messages as of about ten minutes go and it's not the end of everything with this stuff but I have tears welling up because it's more than just me texting into thin air. AND we've been discussing the books we're reading. She is reading the book Twilight for the thirteenth time! 13 TIMES!?!?!?!? It's good but I couldn't possibly read tit that many times! She's read all four books in the series multiple times now. I told her then that I wouldn't brag about reading up to about page 200 on the second one in the series! LOL She laughed but asked how I liked it. It was back and forth conversation. I'm glad and grateful for every word!


Oh I've missed my baby girl! And still do. But I love hearing from her! I'm glowing!

The Ol' "Switch-a-roo"

I live in a 3 bedroom, 3 bathroom house that I share with my younger sister Mandi (29) my daughter Shayla (13), my boyfriend Mike and we have a mini wiener dog named Lunar. The house is only about a mile away from where my mother lives and just 4 miles from the house I lived in as a kid.

Well when we moved in originally I needed my sister to be my room mate and was hoping she'd give in since I couldn't afford to rent the house on my own but knew we'd be great room mates. She actually saw the house we ended up renting and fell in love with it. The price, size and location were all just right so we checked it out and decided to go for it. Deal was that my sister and my daughter could have the two upstairs rooms and I would have the smaller downstairs room. We'd share the two living rooms and the kitchen was lacking in storage space but would do well for us all size-wise.

We've now been there for just over two years and it's still a cute house and it's served us well.

My room though was small. The closet was the smallest closet I've seen and I had to utilize shelves as clothing storage in addition to my huge dresser (which I got from Stevie a number of years back! Thanks Stevie! Remember showing the kids the secret hiding place for such things as bags of "nails"?!) and the small closet itself was jammed full of hanging clothes.

When it became apparent that Mike would be moving in with us my sister made the comment that she'd switch rooms with us. She had the the master bedroom. Not only did it have an entire wall of closet space. It also had the entrance for the bathroom and shower from within the room. AND it's a larger space! PERFECT!

We've been planning to switch rooms for months! At one point my sister and I planned to swap rooms prior to Mikes move so it'd be done. Then we planned to do the swap while he was in town. THEN we decided that we'd need to wait until we had time to do it right. No "half-assing" it.

We did it this last weekend and it went pretty well. Mandi's new smaller room is only part of the transition. On the same level of her new room is her bathroom complete with shower, and also a small family room with the laundry closet stocked with full sized side-by-side washer and dryer. So she's been VERY excited about moving down there. She plans to use the spare family room as her crafts room. It's pretty open to the rest of the house but it's a nice place where she can arrange the flowers when she's being the florist for weddings or holidays or school dances. She can do her sewing and crafts down there but mainly it gives her a nice space with good light for painting. Mandi's been doing painting for years. She was the featured artist even at a small down town sandwich shop in Denver for a month. She also donated work for our art auction hosted by our friend Carl as a fundraiser for my daughters Australia trip.

All in all we'll all benefit from the move in so many ways.... well, maybe except for Mandi's loss of sleep.

See, now she's directly below us. That's right. Our bed and Mandi's bed are only separated by the floor. So night before last I realized in the heat of the moment (Now I'll be singing that all day! This is the heat of the moment...) that my bed is friggen noisy. We'd made sure when Mike was piecing it together that it would not hit the wall. But what we didn't notice so much in past adventures was that the springs creak and moan and the bed frame itself can be forced to moan and creak.

We try to be quiet... but....

... not always easy!

Laughing DURING a session of hot love (LOL) is normal anyway because sex is fun and entertaining a lot of the time. But I was chuckling because I felt bad that my poor sister was down there rethinking the move.

I hope she's REALLY glad about her new craft area! And easier access to her bathroom and the new chandeliers we worked together to hang.... Which she says do not swing from the ceiling when those odd noises were being made!

Poor girl! HAHA! I think we're getting a new bed here pretty soon. I think Mandi might be starting a tradition of sleeping with her radio on. And Maybe ear plugs.

So you know those times when you are in bed and you should be sleeping but you’re too busy talking and laughing and sometimes wrestling around? And I mean it like seriously wrestling kinda some tickling and grabbing and well ok maybe even threats of biting? Yeah ok see … so you know what I mean! Ok good then… So last night Mike and I were doing that! I was tired and I think he was too but in all when we layed down we were full of chatter and laughs and talkness and we would wrestle a little then stop and then go again then stop and laugh a lot in between… So it got to the point where whenever I moved my arm he’d flinch for fear I was going to tickle him. Or something. So as you can see I’m training him to fear my every move. LOL Ok not really.

So I am sweet talking him and saying how he can trust me just let me move my arm around… he’s apprehensive and staying watchful and mindful of each slow movement of my arm rubbing up and down his side or on his chest and he trusted me! So I say “Awww babe you trusted me see and it was good” As I lean in to kiss him I move my arm up to his cheek and I accidentally and violently jabbed him in the eye with my thumb!

Oh my God! I’m such a doof! He forgave me… until I sliced his shin with my toe nails! He just might kill me! If I don’t "do him in" first!

Mandi Lisa!

Doesn't she look like Mona Lisa? Not sure maybe it's just me?

In Estes Park

thing is there's a river behind us!!! And all around the green trees - was bright vivid yellow trees and it looked so awesome with some red turning leaves in the mix... then I take a picture and kept getting just pictures of the green ones! HAHAAH! What a dork!

I wanna go back up there it was amazing! So pretty!

Here are som more fun pictures... I'm just learning how to post these things! I think it's easier than I'm making it! LOL

He's such a dude!

I love that we went to check out the fall colors changing in the Rocky Mountains... We stopped to hike... took some pictures and in nature... he heard nature's call! So I snapped a shot of it! LOL

Catch Me I'm Falling!

ok So I have the Man home... and things seemed to be going smoothly. Mike started his new job on Monday this week. It's a change from what he was used to doing when it comes to policies and time frames chargeable for jobs and such but he's still a technician working on the same type of vehicle's he's used to working on. So that's a good thing right!?

I'd been overwhelmed with the wonderful new man living with us - I also had my daughter home for the first time since he's lived with us (she's still adjusting but they get along great!) Then my daughter has her first high school dance ever Saturday night. She looked gorgeous. I did her hair! ha! She's in class - and I get a text message from her telling me she'd forgotten her lunch that day. Normally I'd run and grab her and take her to lunch - or drop her food off or even stay and eat lunch with her in the cafeteria. . . However I couldn't! (I didn't realize until hours later how much I COULDN'T) I had been doing Laundry, dishes in the dish washer and then I was scrubbing a pot from the sink that Mike had popped popcorn in the other night. It had burn marks in the bottom from the "old maids" or unpopped kernels. SO... I'm scrubbing and I noticed the water is filling up the sink on the side of the disposal.

I flip the switch for the disposal and it turns on. It sounds like it's working on something but the water is not going down. In fact it is now filling up the other half of the sink. So I think maybe something greasy is down there clogging it so I added some dish washing soap - (Palmolive -- "Look Madge I soaked in it")

Anyway - all that did was make the overflowed water soapy. Wahoooo! lol So I decide to give it a rest - I mean I AM doing laundry and running the dishwasher. I coudl lay off the kitchen sink for a bit right!? OK FINE!

SO I drop the pot back into the now half full and draining soapy sink. I'll wait. Only as I step away from the counter at the sink I realize my feet are in standing water! The kitchen is now filling the tile floor starting at the cabinet below the kitchen sink. Oh Hell!~!!!!!

I carefully fling the cabinet doors open and I start trying to get the contents of the cabinet out from underneath. I am throwing away saved empty grocery store and department store bags that are in fact filled now part way with water and flapping it into my face! My pajama pants were now soaking up like a sponge and almost wet up to my knees. So they're sticking to me and almost causing me to trip and slip on the floor. I'm gonna hurt myself AND someone else at this point!

I go down to the laundry closet and grab tons of towels - I lay them out in the kitchen and use them to help me clean out all the cleaning supplies from under the sink - the water has stopped making a larger puddle in the kitchen now but it's still a large mess.

I end up cleaning out the entire cabinet and throwing away things I've decided we haven't even seen for a year at least like a small plant holder and a watering pail that doesn't work too well without spilling (which is now full of water! I used it to water other plants! I'm green that way!) and some other useless stuff! I condensed the multiple bottles of "pet odor eliminator Fabreeze air fresheners" into one. I recycled the empty ones. The underside looks great now that I've dried it up and the odd thing is... I can't figure out what leaked. I used the disposal, I finished the load of dishes and laundry - nothing leaked even a little. Nothing looked cracked or broken.

So needless to say I couldn't take lunch to my daughter since I'd be on my hands and knees drying up and now doing a load of towels to boot!

THEN when it comes time to get out and pick my daughter up from school I get dressed, I grab my wallet - my keys..... um... My keys?.,.... where the hell did I put my keys? .... I narrow it down to either my sisters car in the door handle when we went to the haunted house the night before... OR.... My boyfriend Mike's car.... in HIS door handle when we'd gone out before that.... So I have no house keys and no car keys. AHHHH! BUT We have hooks in the closet for secret copies of the keys ! Thank goodness! I grab the one for the 2003 Saturn Vue! I run out the door now a bit too close to time for me to be making it to her school on time all the way across town. Ahhh! I intelligently leave the door for the house unlocked - I put the dog in his huge kennel - and I go to unlock the door for my car. NOPE!

Awwww hell - this is for the RED 2003 Saturn Vue! It's my sisters spare key! NOT MINE! I look at the spare tag and it says "red" - Darn it it IS her key! Where's MY Spare?

I know where it is! It's on my Mom's key chain! So I won't lose it! My MOM is all the way on the other side of the metro area for her Bowling league night! Dang it!

I call my younger sister Mandi and ask her to go pick up Shayla from school for me and explain why. I text Mike to see if he has my keys. No answer until he's already off from work because he's working so much he doesn't wanna get in trouble for being on his phone and stuff.

This is like the longest blog ever.

I got the kitchen cleaned up and the towels washed and the dishes put away and the daughter made it home and my sister even stopped by and grabbed some food for her to munch on since she'd missed out on lunch. The day was hectic! But we made it!

My Day did actually get even worse a few hours later... but I'm still here. It's been a rough week but you know what... My new man hasn't wavered. I say NEW man - he's been with me for some time now - but it's been a hectic first week and he's only held on tighter when he hugs me!

I'm lucky as hell!

Not sure how...

I need to figure out how to post more than one main picture in a blog but or now I'll share this interesting picture taken at the down-home-country-cookin-eatery known as the cracker barrel (which always makes me think of a barrel of white folks!)

But why do we bring out porcelain dolls with us to breakfast? (Shayla {my daughter} used to call them Porsha Lynn dolls which... even though she's all cute and innocent made me think total porn star! LOL)

Anyway these ladies I think were drug-filled-doll dealers... that's my theory!

4, 3, 2, 1 Earth below us... drifting, falling,,,

Today is the day! Today is the time I've hoped would happen or thought would NEVER happen and have actually thought about for years now. But mainly for the last year it's been something I thought might actually be possible.

Today I fly out to Washington's SEATAC Airport and get picked up by my BOYFRIEND Mike! We drive back home and snuggle together and then early in the morning we hop in the rented moving truck that is towing his Honda Accord as we drive half way (or so it seems) across the country (actually only through like 5 states or so) for a full day drive time (actually this one's close to true it's between 19-24 hours) to be spread out between tomorrow and Monday!!! I'm bringing my man home. He's got a new home and a new job and he starts on Wednesday. It's REAL!!!

It's no joke It's not JUST a dream. Yes I'm nervous! YES I'm excited. It's like it's too good to be true!

No! Seriously it does. They saying I'm "waiting for the other shoe to drop" is like the closest I can find to how I'm thinking. I don't recall the "first shoe" dropping but you know it's like something is too good or too wonderful. He's not Psycho, He's sweet He's funny and he's willing to leave his home for ME? ME? Hmmm~ And when I met him almost 3 years ago from online chat and then phone conversations he was not single & he lived out of state (which I said I'd NEVER DO again when it came to dating) so between those two it wasn't an option. He's hot as far as I'm concerned and he's hilarious. He said he wasn't happy in his relationship and I told him that's fine then get out of it on your own terms. (Which I thought he'd never do but I wouldn't admit I even liked him back until he was single and I wasn't going to hold it over his head I just stayed his friend)

Anyway My point is - through lots of crazy circumstances - we've gotten to today - the day we begin our life together. After living so far apart and being on the phone CONSTANTLY - flying multiple times back and forth and meeting family and friends and friends who ARE family we'll be together.

I feel guilty. I honestly should feel guilty for being part of the situation when he broke up with his ex. However his ex let me have it! He wrote this message to me on my Myspace page letting me know exactly what he thought of me! He slammed my parental ability and said I had a small penis (hahahah I loved that part) So he got to say what he wanted and I left it alone so I don't feel guilty about being a "home wrecker" anymore.

I do feel guilt over being the reason he's leaving his family and his friends! He's got this huge network of people who he's so close with! Friends he's grown up with! Family he's loved and hated but no matter what they've always been very close by when he needed them there. He's leaving them behind for me. for US! It's so romantical! (As Chi chi would say!)

So anyway I've lost sleep and had wretched dreams about this not working well. Or thinking I'll die on the plane or the plane will crash on my way out there. WTF?

OK this is more than enough rambling... can you tell I'm excited? He says I'm like a puppy! I think he's right! Wish me luck!

Holy Knock!?

This is hopefully something that I'm not the only one that it's happened to? But I have to share - It's about bed time last night, I'm geared up and ready for bed. I've spoken to Mike on the phone and wished him a goodnight! We talked about our day and our short countdown to when he comes home for good.

I'm home with only the pet dog Lunar for company. He's the mini wiener dog who lives with us and he hears everything. He hears a fly buzzing by in the other room, he hears people talking outside, and the cool thing is he always hears the door when someone is home trying to come into the house. AND he only barks if it's someone he truly doesn't know (And oddly normally only at straight males!? I think he has gaydar!)

So he (Lunar the super mini weeny!) is in my room with me. My sister/roommate Mandi is at practice until late. She is going out of town today so last night she met with a friend to trade house keys so her friend Nikki could take care of our dog and my Mom's dog while we're all out of town this weekend.

I turn on the monitor to watch some quickie porn before bed time. The dog is on my bed and by now he knows to ignore me when I'm doing so. Thank goodness.

So I 'm watching this homemade video close up of a guy with a live crotch - the guy on the monitor reminds me of Mike... so this is perfect and I'm kind of reveling in my new porn find. Wahooooo! In the background of the porno the hand held video catches the sound of a doorbell. I kind of laughed but the performers on my monitor didn't even react! I thought it was so funny to be sucking on something and filming it and the doorbell rings and you don't even react for fear you'll lose the mood for this porn.

So I find it entertaining and I "rewind" using the progress bar at the bottom of the porn window to go back to that part and I check to see if that's what the noise was ... sure as shit that's it! The soft distant doorbell rings again! HAHA! I thought how funny that the dog didn't jump because he jumps even when the doorbell on the TV is ringing and he looks out the blinds to see who's here or he jumps at the door. But this time ... NOTHING! Then again ... the guys on the monitor in the same scene also still didn't respond.

So I mentally move on and I'm watching and I'm getting to the point of no return when a dark figure ... an outline of a person with their hair all "bunned" up on top of their head is at my door which was already cracked open (so when my sister comes home the dog can run to her and intercept her before she comes downstairs and I can put away any evidence) and then the light reflects off the eyeglasses of my sister who is in fact IN MY ROOM! I'm sitting on the other side of my computer the only thing between her eyes and my junk is the computer monitor!!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHH!

I do the "bend-in-half-cover-your-crotch" move and say this "GET OUT I"M MASTURBATING!" silently she realizes and does a silent spin and is out of eyesight and of my room in a millisecond. I close the door and look at the dog and he's looking at me like "Eh? What just happened?"

I put my everything away... turn of the computer - and I can't stop laughing. I'm so uncomfortable right now. I feel dirty and exposed and just "caught" in general. And What the hell happened to my watch dog? Damn! LOL

I put my pants back on and I walk out of the room and I yell into the rest of the house that I'm sorry. She can't see me from the kitchen and I can't see her but she replies off handed that it's fine and whatever... LOL Still so AWKWARD!!!!! Ahhhhh! Couple more weeks I'll be upstairs and you can hear the stairs creak before anyone can even get to my room so I should be fine! But seriously!?
Ok I know... too much info... but hey that's me! LOL My poor sister!

OT

Did I mention I got up at 3am this morning (when I say 3 AM I truly mean my alarm went off at 3:35 and I hit snooze until about 3:50) to be at work two hours earlier than normal? Yes it's true! So today IS my "Friday" of the week! BUT It's a twelve hour shift today for me! I'll be very happy when 5PM rolls around and I get to go pick up my little teenaged wonderball of knowledge, joy and joyness! I sure like that kid!

I think I might try to sneak her into the clubs tonight I feel like dancing! She's got MOVESSSSS! ok I've only danced with her at wedding when she's reluctant and when I helped chaperon the junior high dance. But she was fun and kept me on the dance floor with her and her friends so I'm SURE she'll love the club! LOL? NO? OK maybe another time.

The mechanic is almost moving in!

The countdown has been going for what feels like forever. I have been waiting for ever it seems for Mike to be moving in with me. Well, with us (I live with my sister and of course my daughter lives with me part time too). Now it's one week from tonight that I fly out to SeaTac airport and then one week from tomorrow that we start the drive back with all of his belongings to Colorado.

ROAD TRIP!!!!!!!!!

The road trip part will be a good chance to spend HOURS and HOURS together in close proximity. Stopping only to pee and refuel. I think I'll pack sandwiches! Which in turn makes me think of the original "Vacation" movie where the dog pees on the picnic basket and the batty old aunt keeps eating it anyway even though Chevy Chase's "cool moves" for Christie Brinkley in the distance are completely knocked out of whack by the urine stained White bread goodness.

... and we're back.......

As for the new living situation I'm very excited! I'm excited, I'm nervous - He's excited and nervous and he starts his new job immediately! I almost wish he could take like a week or two off and relax for a while. I think that might be more difficult. I think the waiting to start would be counter productive for his relaxation process. Meeting ALL new people in an entirely different state. Yeah I'd be nervous. I have started new jobs where I've not known anyone going in, but I've always had my outside world to comfort me with the familiar.

He won't

Well he WILL have me and my family and friends who love him so much but it's still new for him!

And as nervous as he is I can't help but be counting down every minute of every day. Poor guy he has to deal with me bouncing off the walls.

HAHA! I'm thinking he'll be ok about it.

This will be my week with my daughter home and the last time I have just her and I. Well not that we won't be able to do stuff on our own anyway but you know before Mike moves in with us. This is a first for us all. She's a teenage girl and she's brilliant in my eyes so I'm not sure how this will go. I'm anticipating drama and good times mixed with bad, but that's life in general isn't it!?

ok I'm rambling ! Thanks for listening.

Oh and UHGGG - I have to clean and get rid of stuff... anyone want my old Flintstone and Rainbow bright toys? LOL

Wish me luck! lol

Well blow me down!

This is an example of a story... this did not necasarrily happen but I used it to pose a question.... this is not to portray a call or person!

So sometimes people do odd things... one time a lady thought her car was being broken into by small people who were sitting on the dash board of her car. She called 911 and told them but she doesn't always think or see things the same as most people and this may have progressed as she's aged.

When she called 911 - the dispatcher may have gotten her address and information and sent officers on the way who may have responded to assist her. This older lady's husband heard her making this call and he looked out the window to find no one there.

The husband got on the phone to tell 911 it was an error no need for officers because there wasn't anyone there... when officers arrived to check on scene they realized she was someone they'd helped out before and knew she's not seeing things the same anymore.

They even let her use their flashlight to show her no one was in the car or on the dashboard. ... this only made her think (logically of course) that the people who'd been on her dash were now hiding in the tree.

The husband got mad before that and he yelled that there wasn't anyone out there or in the car and he went inside. After she was convinced they'd gone into the tree the older lady may have begun climbing a tree... the officer might have made sure she's OK and taken his flashlight back before leaving the husband to get her down and back into their home for the night to rest.

I asked Mike if I ever had something like this made up scenario happened... if he'd help me out of the tree and make sure i was safe. He said he'd hose me out of the tree and that he'd make sure I was down but not necessarily safe.... see this is love! He DOES care! LOL

table tag!

So I'm new to the whole long term relationship thing and it's wonderful so far but I realized today there's some stuff I'm going to have to start taking into consideration... among other things it's new purchases.

SO I'm out shopping for a new table for my mom with her and my younger sister Mandi! Well right now My younger sister Mandi and I rent a house together and we've got limited kitchen space ourselves but we've been using a nice old wood table that we grew up using at our grandmothers house.

It's always worked - it's a bit wobbly but - it works! It's a bit too large - it's kinda in the way and did I mention it's wobbly? I did? Ok cool - moving on!

So before we find the Table my mother ends up getting for herself - which BTW is rad - it has storage for wine bottles and glasses and some open cabinets - .... she finds a table that's perfect for our kitchen! It's black stained wood underneath - with shelves for our cookbooks and some other stuff opening up cupboard space .... This will also open up the kitchen and the height of the new table would make for GREAT working space when cooking (Which I don't do but the boyfriend and my sister both do!)

Yeah so we got mom's new table and chairs... got our new table and chairs... it worked out well... on our way out my boyfriend called me and asked what was up! I explained how cool it was that we'd have this new table with new storage and new folding flaps on the table which will make for even MORE room!!!! And it's sturdy... well he moves in in like 2 weeks and um I didn't think to ask him if he had a table already... he DOES! lol aaawwwwww crap!

I should get used to the checking with people before making large moves any minute now don't you think? ... no? .... we'll see! But I'll try!

AND I can't wait for you to see the new set... it has new chairs that are large enough for my ass even and they have NO ARMS! wahoooo! LOL Hope he likes them too!

Who's Birthday is it anyway?

At work the supervisors or co workers tend to take turns buying cards for special, happy or sad occasions and then we all pass the card around and sign it for whoever.

Sometimes the passing of the card through the different shifts is very secretive. Like if they're planning to have like a pot luck on a different day and they maybe want the element of surprise to be involved! I think the concept is that even though I personally have signed passed around cards hundreds of times in my time here as a 911 dispatcher for others, maybe I will think "they all spent super amounts of special time to get me a card together and therefore it means more to me" if I don't see them signing it the day before? ... I'm not sure!? But either way it's cool to have things celebrated and either you can or don't have to sign... or you can bring food or not... (in some cases of course there's always that person who NEVER brings it and then ALWAYS eats more than anyone!) but that is a whole new blog!

So my point is this... the director for the dispatch center got a card for the head man in charge - who is a Nice guy and kinda hot for his age... but anyway it's his birthday... His name is Bill.... I had the card handed to me to sign.. I signed and passed it on.

The card made it's way around the room and then it very sneakily made it's way back toward us in a secret hushed voice sort of way.

"Why are you whispering?"

Holley in whispered tones: "It's for Lee and he's right there!"

Us "no it's not! It's for Bill!?"

Holley: "no it's for Lee! I know I just signed it!"

Us : "What? It's not Lee's Birthday!?"

Holley had asked one of the people who signed it before her and had actually handed her the card told her it was for Lee's birthday. Holley then opened up the card and glanced through it and thought Lee had signed the card...? Confused she asked the co worker, "How can it be for LEE is he signed it?"

The co worker pointed out that no... "It says HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE" and kinda gave Holley that look like as if to say "Um HELOOOOO???? DUH?????"

HAHAHAHAH! The director brought in a fresh new card for us to sign today for bill! We spent the remainder of our night last night wishing Lee a happy birthday and I'm not sure he knew why! LOL But we thought it'd be tacky to just "white-out" the names LEE that had been added to the messages from a few people and still give him that card ya know!?

WHOOPS!

Wait? How long?

OK this is a picture of me in central Park! I was originally standing next to my daughter in the picture but I cropped it out. Only for personal use and I have the whole picture posted on my myspace too but I thought the sun in my eye looked WHACKED!

The face.... Who knows what I'm doing? Always being a nerd I guess.

But ok so I took my daughter out to NYC for spring break and I loved it! We both walked more than we ever thought possible and saw friends and stayed with them while we were out there. This little daughter of mine is just growing up so fast I have a hard time thinking she won't have time for me when she gets older and so I try to do as many things as I can NOW that we'll both enjoy.

So today we had family members of one of my co workers in here talking about their oldest son (who was in here too ) taking a drivers safety and defensive driving course. They paid $700 for this one course - and he learned how to get his car out from a spin and a skid and how to turn the wheels in this set up road of hazards and cones and such and how he could do it safely!

but seven hundred dollars? PLUS a car? PLUS a kid on the roads!? I mean yes it's better they're trained well. So whatever. SO then I we discussed the new driving age laws and requirements on how to get the permit and how you can get it a year before you're 16 if you take the courses and do the in class time. I then said "Well ok and who knows how the laws will be in two years when My 13 year old is ready to drive.

Mind you I have mentally been getting ready to take her to the parking lot and help teach her the basics of driving a stick shift vehicle. But at this time I came to this conclusion in my head....

"she's only 13."
"Oh wait she's almost 14!"
"Still 2 years till 16"
"Oh wait only have to be 15 to get her permit!"
"CRAP I've got a friggen YEAR!!!???? That's IT?!"

I'm kind of excited she's done so well in life but man I can't believe she'll be driving soon! Dang it!

Saturday Morning

Good morning. This is Jerrod! I go by freddyeyes a lot too! It's a whole Flintstone thing. Since I was a kid I have been compared to Fred Flintstone. I had a Fred shaped baby bottle who was kind of like my security blanket.

Now I'm 31 and a father to a beautiful daughter who is almost 14. She's in 9Th grade this year and making us all proud.

I'm gay, out and currently in love with a man who I've known for about 3 years. We've been together for a while now and he's about to move out here to Colorado from Washington so we can live together.

So this blog is kind of a way to chronicle what's happened for me over the last few years - maybe some cool goofy stories from my colorful past. Sometimes maybe just thoughts I guess. And well a journal for me to get stuff out of my head. We'll see. Maybe I'll even stick to it and keep them coming.