Wednesday, April 8, 2009

Slurpee licious!


Monday morning I got off work at 7 am from my job. I knew I'd have to hurry home and nap because I had a mid-morning dentist appointment to keep for my 6 month cleaning and xrays. Needless to say when I woke up 2 hours after laying my head on my pillows I was glad to hit "snooze" on my cell phone at least twice.

So when I finally DID get up from bed and brush my teeth getting ready to run out the door and across town... I was so sleepy but I was also HUNGRY!

Knowing I couldn't very well go into the dentist with half of a corn chip in my teeth I was aware I'd have to wait until I was done at the dentist! I didn't want my hygienist Crystal to think I was a HUGE nasty pig... orally I mean of course! lol
So after I was all cleaned up and my teeth and gums had been poked, prodded and x-rayed... I decided to make a trip to the local 7-11 for some blog worthy nachos! NACHOS!!!!! Can I tell you that I'm not the only person who LOVES and Covets these nachos!? I have taken more than one call at my 911 dispatching job for people who have stolen said nachos ... I mean it! Literally filled the chips container with cheesy type goodness and then closed it up and RUN OUT THE DOOR to their get away car! So now cops know how good they are too! hahaha!

Anyway... as I entered the store of the local convenience, I was the only one in there other than the older lady with the long frizzy hair who worked there. She was mopping the floor to my right as I removed the plastic shrink wrap from the large nachos container. Her name tag I could not see... which is sad because this story is one she'd want credit for I'm sure!

So I glanced her way and took a mental picture of the store... making a mental image of what I'd do if I were the nacho thief in action... I could technically do it.. but they have cameras and though the flavor of the cheesy chippy goodness is worth some hassle... the paying option is a much better one. Anyway ... I looked to my left and I realized, by the Slurpee machines is a HUGE cardboard cutout with Hugh Jackman in his white "wife-beater" tank pulling against his furry, sweaty, wolverine-style muscles. I mean this thing is hot! He's got his full wolverine mutton chops with his 50's throwback big manly hair... he's a gay mans wet dream...

I turn to the female grandma employee as she's mopping and we make eye contact... "I want that!" I say to her pointing to the poster style cutout promoting his new Wolverine Origins movie.

She says "What?" and she kind of leans on her mop handle (You know like the cartoon Carrol Burnett style of leaning ... like she did at the end of each show of the Carol Burnett show!?)



I repeated myself ... "I want that cut-out" ... I pointed again!

This woman looks to me then her eyes move to the cut out then back to me... no change on her face... no inflection to ponder what her response is going to be.... She pauses just long enough for me to realize that she may not be ok with me being this huge nacho consuming Homo in her 7-11 store.... I then notice movement out of the corner of my eye.

Two other men in their twenties or thirties are also in the shop and one is on the phone but the other one glances over to us briefly as he scans the pre-made sandwiches on the "end-cap" of an isle. (He's probably trying to figure out if I'll ever move so he can steal some nachos) Either way no one made a move until the woman looked back to me with her eyes for about the fourth time, still leaning on her mop handle when she blurts out "Fuck you he's mine!"

HAHAHAH! I busted out laughing! I retorted that it's hot and it belongs in my bedroom and she slid the mop back into the cleaning bucket on the floor before walking past me to help the customer who'd found his calling card and jerky or whatever and she said "Hell no! That's mine!"

I told her I was gonna put my name on the back of it and would be back for it in a month!

She laughed and joked that she thinks I have awesome taste as she rang me up! I love spunky old ladies! MMMMMMMM Nachos and Hugh! YUM!












3 comments:

Nice to see StevieB said...

My two favorite things:
7-11 Nachos and Wolverine. I never knew I could just cheese and dash? I'm up for that now! Who's with me? Cheese-n-dash 7-11!

Freddyeyes said...

Oh Mutton Chops... Don't think I didn't hink of you when I wrote this... with the chops and all... I have them too though my hair is not so big and greaser like at the moment... but he's still handsome as the BUFF version of himself - It made for a nice rough chip filled fantasy! LOL And um no grab and runs the two of you... don't make me separate you two!

steve taren said...

mutton chops rock.
wolverine always had them.

i think that cutout is cool. i didn't see the new wolverine movie but the game was great.

that cutout is cool, but in a 711 in philly i think it was there was a 8 foot cutout of the hulk for the movie.

i know a good place to get a cutout of yourself at

Lifesize custom cutouts