In Honor Of Bacon Everywhere....

I still have yet to try the new Baconnaise... I NEED to try it! Anyone seen any lately they'd like to share?

I've blogged about Baconnaise before and it's a Bacon Flavored Mayo that is less sodium and less fat content than regular Mayonnaise. If you use it on a BLT (Bacon Lettuce and Tomato) Sandwich it'll be less a LOT of things but I've been told (By Oprah and friends) NOT Less on FLAVOR!!!!!!!! YUMMMMMM!

Ok so I have a wallet that looks like it's made with raw strips of Bacon... People KNOW I love the stuff...it keeps me in shape! (Round IS a shape so shut up!)

Anyway... My Boss Jackie was shopping at her local convenience store and saw a bag of these...

She HAD to get them and now I've been munching on them all week! YES Bacon Flavored Sunflower Seeds! Delish! They taste super salty but in a brief comparison their sodium content is somewhat less than that of regular flavored Sunflower seeds! And it's made by the same company who developed Baconnaise and Bacon Salt (Which is a cool little start up company that began out of these guys' garage in Seattle Washington {Info again from my friend Oprah})

I dedicate this Blog to my friend Meghan who along with me has worshipped the likes of Bacon and Bacon products (And Billy Mayes may he R.I.P!)

Bacon Dress Looks (And Smells) Like Bacon

No, Seriously... Make it gay!

So I've mentioned in earlier blogs that my partner Mike and I are in search of a "Gay-related" gift for the little girl who is coming home to our friends (Her new adoptive parents)! Well the date is getting closer and I've had my head FULL of possible ideas.. something as random as getting her dolls from "Rainbow Brite" or "Care Bears" line of toys. I am going to be sewing some clothing items for her too and thought I'd use a rainbow style pattern as well to add some "flare". HAHA

Then I met with the soon-to-be-parents (and friends of ours) the other night and we discussed some books I'd heard about but not read for children about being "different" than the rest. Similar to how smaller kids who may later identify as gay would appear out in the world today. Teaching acceptance and tolerance... teaching care and love for all.

I couldn't find them but Facebook came through - Found the title of a duck involved book thanks in HUGS part to the help of Kez in Australia... (The Mutton Chopped Mutant!) And it's called "The Sissy Duckling" by Harvey Fierstein!!! ... another friend of mine known as D helped, he located a book telling a tale of same sex love between real life Penguins who live at the Central Park Zoo in NYC. The title for this book: "And Tango Makes Three" - looks so good - Well when I am at work I wanted to order these books but don't have access on the computer... so I asked my supervisor to do it for me! HAHAHA! She did! then as a suggestion through Amazon since I ordered BOTH books for the party... it offered yet a THIRD book called "A Different Dragon" I'm so psyched - I had them rush delivered to ensure they're here on time... I may also have to give one to another special little girl who's birthday is coming up. Sharing the big gay wealth in literature!

In addition to these wonderful and glamorous books... (Which I'm being told there are even MORE! See: "The Boy Who Cried FABULOUS!") We thought up some cool ideas and we also decided to get two KEN Dolls from the barbie line of dolls! One in a Tuxedo with Black hair (We wanted to get two in a tux but they only marry off the black haired Kens I guess and didn't want to introduce sibling relationships or anything odd with twins you know!? ) We decided the other doll would be a "Surfer Ken Doll" with blond hair, some shorts, a t shirt and surf board - then we got an outfit as an alternative but it's like a Sweater vest with a red shirt underneath - and some khaki shorts - like he's going to play tennis. So they can mix and match with one another outfits...

Well Here's the kicker... Mike and I went to a store that's KNOWN to be busy and when we do... we usually go all the way behind the store to avoid the front of the store foot and car traffic... (trying to find parking and not hit people is so troublesome some times ya know!? ) and we park on the very back side of the building - it's got like ten parking spots and is used mainly for automotive needs. BUT It has it's own side/back entrance... and it has it's own registers which are seldom used and almost never have a line!!!

BUT picture this.. Jerrod & Mike at the register that is being manned by a checkout guy/mechanic who's covered in auto grease head to toe & he's missing some teeth... in our shopping basket... a bottle of carpet cleaner, 2 ken dolls and one Ken sized change of "gay mens tennis sweater vest outfit" to buy ...

"Who? Us? Gay? NOOOOOO!?!!!!!!!"

Needless to say we kind of hurried on our merry little way after the transaction was done! But we gt the dolls! Wahooooooo! And the books are ordered

What the Deuce?

Denver's channel 2 Has had many changes in the last 20 years or so... used to be Just channel 2... or known as Denver's Channel 2. Nothing fancy... then they became Channel 2 the "WB"!

Well THEN they became the CW... obviously some buying and selling and name changing of sorts took place somewhere....

yeah... get this... they are now.....

THE DEUCE!? and I'm thinking SERIOUSLY? I say that when I want to be crude and let people know I took ... may take or need to drop a Deuce!? Am I the only one?

Their Website even.,.. is http://www.2thedeuce.com/ Help us! Oh and they're still currently the CW network too so "throw that in your drink and stir it!"

6th picture!! Maybe NSFW?

I got a text then thought it'd be fun to send the same text out and then post what I got back... Mind you I'm eager to share due to the amount of crazy oddball pictures I got...

(The text said: Send me the 6th picture in ur Phone! No cheating! Send the 6th picture and I will blog it unless it's of a person you don't want blogged!)

Here are some of the random I got! Enjoy -

Below is #6 for a friend who was price comparing for a door she wants!

Below is a #6 for a friend that needed to recall what is outside his window for family who was compaining weather was too cold...

Below is from a supervisor of mine... This IS her #6 it's a bear... I think it's stuffed and no longer with us and might be on exhibit at the great outdoors store in town!? (Her #7 was a hot pic of her husband doing something embarressing and I think she wished that was her #6 because she sent it too but refused to let me post it! HAHA!)

Scroll down to find a Potatoe Bar sent from a friend who is also a chef and part time caterer!
Fitting for that friend for sure!

Then below we have a person drawing a picture - pretty cool picture in multiple ways actually!

Below is an awesome picture it's a HUGE bird Cage (aviary) in a garden filled sun room or a sun filled garden room at a friends house! So beautiful in person too!

Below is a #6 from a friend of mine who saw this sign while out... it's translated below too!

"Beware of Pickpockets and Loose Women"

Below, I was around for this #6 picture! It is the leftovers of a 7 lb burrito! If eaten completely without vomiting by a man you get the $12 burrito free & a picture with the owner and your empty plate on the wall!

If you're a girl who finishes all 7 lbs... you get the same.. BUT You eat for free! This one was Mike's left over food after he ate all he could that night... our friend Stacey finished hers in under 2 hours! She eats free for life!!! she's the 7th girl or so to do it!

the next two go together... it says not to cheat so the next one is my friends actual #6... it's a septic system.. she does landscaping and stuff so you never know!

But she thought it was lame! (She's not the only one many people I couldn't include thought their #6 was lame but I only didn't include them if they have people's faces who didn't give permission or their kiddos or something!) So she then sent this one... the fact she could TAKE this one is impressive to me! She fed him and let him go! Cute little garbage thieving raccoon!

But the next #6 pic below is from a friend who ALSO said his was LAME... Seriously? I think it's perfectly random and exactly what this text message/blog game is about!
HONK! HONK!

Below is a cute doggy who a friend of mine had as their #6....

Here's what Happened when a different cute dog got ahold of someone's glasses! Now THIS is a fashion statement! AND a #6 to be sent for sure!!!

Now here is the first of two snakes.... SO snake phobics scroll past... but this is a #6 for a friend of mine here at work...

Warning: Below snake #2 is GROSS! lol But it was someones #6!

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Below thank goodness for this next picture because gay straight or otherwise it's better than the last one! But at the same time... thank goodness for nasty hilarious pictures...

YUM! Have fun! Play along!

Make it Gay!!!!!!!!!

I have these friends who’re adopting a child. The little girl is not newborn. In fact she’s a few years old and living in an orphanage in Belize. But she’s coming home soon. The little girl has a Brittle Bone condition called Osteogenesis imperfecta (OI) . This bone condition is the same condition that my friends who are adopting her have.

They could break a bone from sneezing.. their build is small in stature and most people if not all with this condition don’t walk and have grown up having surgery after surgery for preventative and repairative issues in their aging processes.

Since we were younger Lisa (the soon to be mother) has wanted a child. We’ve discussed how the growth of a newborn in her body might not be possible and if it DID happen it might hurt them both physically to carry the pregnancy out.

SCARY!

So Lisa has been married to her childhood friend Chris… Chris also has the bones frailty that Lisa has… as do many of our other friends that we’ve made through the years… you find someone who is like you and you tend to gravitate towards them.

SO… my story is this. Their new daughter comes home soon and we’ve been invited to the welcome home party for her!!! Well their new daughter may be a few years old but is of course of the tiny stature that Lisa and Chris both are. She has a very nice electric wheel chair too I’ve been told. So you have to take into consideration some of these things.

Also you have to find out what her room “theme” is and what she likes… you have to find out her size in clothes… and THIS is why I called Lisa from the store we were in while shopping for Anisee (A niece E).

Lisa informs me that her new daughter wears a size 3T or 4. That’s perfect now I know. She also likes Frogs and Pigs and the color pink. And I know Lisa has the love of food and cooking and runs a part time catering company for smaller events or personal in home meals. http://thelittlechef.info/

SO… Mike and I were shopping… finding CUTE but overpriced clothes and awesome cooking sets and even doll houses made to keep recycling and living “green” in mind made of all recycled and natural materials. It was actually very cool but rather pricey… the wall art was awesome but then again I haven’t seen the room yet so what if I get her something then she feels obligated to hang but it doesn’t match the scheme!? Then what? HAHA!

I called Lisa and asked her what size she is and how you spell her name and she gave me the rundown of the 4 or 5 names they have for her and they gave her size but then she asked me this…. Oh hey I want you and Mike to get her something that somehow has something to do with being gay!

OK This is awesome! I have actually had many a friend or family member in the past tell me to tone it down.. or to maybe keep things on the down low while around their friends. And I’ve been invited to MANY wedding showers and baby showers and been the only male because of who I am. But this is the first time they’ve actually requested that me AND my partner bring something specifically gay for their child! I love it! Awwww! They are going to make the best parents!

(I hope they don’t read my blog!) So we saw some cute kitchen stuff and it started a theme… Mike and I bought her a Kids cooking with the parents cook book. And I fell in love with some cute sun dresses and some awesome small designer kitchen aprons for children… but rather than pay the money they’re asking… I’m going to get help from my mother and we’ll MAKE them for her. So we’ll find her a cute pattern for a sundress and then make one up for a cool kitchen apron … maybe flower with her Initials on it?! But the cook book looks super cool and then Mom can share her love of cooking with her new daughter in a kitchen that’s been created with lowered counter tops and special ovens and stove tops… smaller accessible side by side refrigerators with slide out shelves… cabinets with lowered accessibility! It should be perfect… now if I can only sew it… hmmmm! Hahah! I figured I would make a rainbow one and maybe throw in a rainbow brite doll or care bears.. something pride like. But I will keep adding to it if I can! Hahaah I’m so excited to see another dream come true for so many people all at once!

ummmmm? Is this normal?

So Check it out - I have 8 tattoos some large some small but most pretty visible.

I have a tattoo of my daughters footprint the day she was born - I have my dad's zodiac symbol on my forearm in memory of him. I have Fred Flintstone with his daughter pebbles on his shoulders representing me and my daughter.

I have more... But one I have had for almost 3 years now is from Rainbow Brite. It's a fuzzy looking little green guy and he's on my lower inner leg.

Well He's sick. Mind you this is the only tattoo that I've ever had to give me problems while healing. Certain sections of the tattoo seemed to stay reddish in color around the outside of where color SHOULD be.

NOW though in the last couple months the sections of my little tattoo that are supposed to be red... are swollen (It looked like I had his nose and feet puffed up with little implants!) Only the red pigment of my tattoo has this problem.

NOW - it's blistering open and gross and pissed... wanna see? LOL It's gross....





Told you! Anyway - I'm off to see the doctor tomorrow if I can get an appointment and stay awake - I work until 5 am and they don't open to make an appointment until 7 am - and then it wouldn't be until 8 am at the very earliest.

Wish me luck.

Don't be Flaky!

SO this last weekend was Gay Pride here in Denver! We had all sorts of booths for food and gay friendly services like dog sitters and stuff set up all over down town Denver's Civic Center Park.

IT WAS HOT! I spent much time outside walking around and the nights with little to no sleep so I could hang out with friends and family. Good times.

Well by the end of Sunday's Parade and Pride fest times... my face was burnt. YES I applied some sunscreen and rubbed it in but my face and forehead SWEAT like a thin plastic soda filled cup on a warm day. WET! So usually I get some sun on my cheeks and forehead... now that my hair is buzzed it's my whole scalp too.

This leads me to today and my handy dandy lesbian Roberta. I call her Bertie. (Like the character played by Sandra Bullock on Hope Floats!)

So I work with her but we are also friends outside of the workplace. Anyway, I'm at work and as each person came up to talk to me today I would have to intercept their shocked faces with a quick acknowledgement that "YES I know I'm peeling on my face" and "Yes I DID use sunscreen but I sweat it off!" we'd laugh and then move on.

I've applied Lida cane and sunburn stuff and lotion to help but this happens sometimes.. I burn I peel and then it turns to suntan.

SO As I'm sitting here clearing criminal records for different police officers I'm seeing out of the corner of my eyes that small bits of skin is hanging off my face or floating from my forehead onto the paper I'm writing on!

So it leads me to picking it off... sometimes large ish pieces of thin dead skin come right off and I throw it away.. but it's slow going and gross. I decided to use the roll of tape sitting next to me.. but it's scotch tape and light in it's pull of dead skin cells from my peeling forehead.

The Lesbian Bertie sees me using a rolled inside out piece of tape on my forehead and I ask her if she has any Duct tape... thinking it'd be stronger and more effective. It was a joke.. she is a lesbian after all and used to work at Home depot so then I thought maybe it would be an effective little jab producing some duct tape. Alas I was wrong...

BUT... she DID have black thick electrical tape from when she was fixing her cars tire for something. She's so handy! I groped for the roll of black thick sticky love and I cute a strip off. I then put it on my forehead and she was "So grossed out" yet she says "But I wanna RIP it off!"

She did and the sticky underside after just one rip was covered in dead skin... it HURT like A bitch too!

"OUCH!" I said.. "Ew" she said then we did it again! LOL

Our boss was then watching us use and re use more of the tape and now I have less falling off my face.! Besides... I'm going back to Seattle Washington this weekend for the holiday and seeing Mike's family and friends... I can't peel off slabs of dead skin into their soup... it doesn't make for good visit memories you know!?



FLAKY!